I heard a loud thud when I came in from the garage with my dog. I was visiting my parents and dropping Ginger off so my son and I could go visit the University of Vermont later in the week.

When I didn’t see my mom on the couch, I didn’t think much of it, assuming perhaps my dad had fallen. His heart problems and pulmonary hypertension increase fall risk. I yelled for my mom, wanting to make sure my dad was OK.

When she didn’t answer, I yelled a little louder.

Then louder.

Then, I was halfway up the stairs when my dad came to the doorway of their bedroom and told me he thought she was downstairs.

I ran back downstairs and opened the basement door, yelling into the dark even when I knew she wasn’t down there. “Mooommmmm,” I screamed, part fear, part knowing my dad didn’t have his hearing aids in and I wanted him to hear I still couldn’t find her.

Then: “Michelle, up here.”

When I got to the bedroom, my mom was on her back, eyes open, not moving. I knelt beside her and, gently placing my hand on her should, calling “Mom” firmly to see if she would answer me.

She did, but soon a gurgle in the back of her throat made it clear she was going to be sick. I rolled her on her side.

Dialing 911 I was connected and told since they lived in the county the volunteer fire department would be who answered the call. A long 20 minutes later, paramedics were assessing for stroke. No. Heart attack? Maybe, but probably not. The vomiting was problematic.

A trip to the ER and now going on two nights in the ICU, they know her heart went into v-tach but aren’t clear why. More v-tach runs follow in ICU, but no more passing out.

Now, a day from the emergency, I think about how differently everything could have gone. I see that thin line between here and gone appear, letting me know the distance is small.

We all have moments that shake us up, dump cold water on our sleepy lives.

So, my invitation to you today is to tap into your awareness of what matters. What and who make you feel light? What gives you joy? What makes your connection to this earth solid and meaningful?

The Light Links

I’m too tired to find links that I love. Instead, tell me about something you love, won’t you?