Sitting with my mom in the ICU, alarms signaled when her heart would go into v-tach. The monitor, usually steady blips crossing the screen like waves in an ocean on a mildly windy day, would suddenly sweep large and irregular.

The heart is a magnificent if sometimes fickle organ. Structurally, my mom’s heart is sound. But the electrical system, how the heart knows to pump, how those steady beats stay calm instead of erratic, is haywire.

“Think of it like a fire brigade,” her doctor told me. “You have someone fill the bucket at the front. If everyone’s working in unison, the bucket stays full all the way down the line. But, if someone decides not to show up or goes too fast, the bucket starts to empty.”

And that’s what happens during v-tach. The arrhythmia—sometimes up to 100 beats per minute—doesn’t allow the ventricles to fill properly, resulting in decreased blood flow to the body.

If prolonged, you pass out. Or, go into cardiac arrest.

A night with only one incident of v-tach meant my mom was moved to the cardiac unit today.

Tomorrow, maybe discharge, with two new medications on board and (potentially) a potassium supplement.

In these past couple of days, which have felt more like years, if I’m honest, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about regularity, stability, steadiness.

Steadfastness.

What and who are resolute in my life?

Like my son, who calls his nanny over his lunch period to check in on her.

Or, the beat of my own heart (at least in this moment).

The wag of my dog’s tail when I get home after being at the hospital, wide swooshes back and forth.

The way I always relax (even if I don’t stay relaxed) when I first crawl into bed.

How I’ll always start singing certain songs out loud even when just hearing them in a commercial.

So, my invitation to you today is to think about what is steady and steadfast in your own life? Who and what can you count on? Then, consider some of the ways you are steady and steadfast in this world. How can you be counted on?

And, how does that help you send light out into the darkness?

The Light Links

The electrical signals of the heart

Take me home, country roads (One of the songs I always sing aloud when I hear it, even when in a commercial).

Commercial featuring the song Take me home, country roads (that made me think of the above.)