Buzz

At 53, let’s face it, I’m in menopause, or heading toward menopause. Then, there’s the national environment, so hostile to trans people like my son that every day there seems to be something new, another way of making his life impossible. Then there’s the systematic dismantling of our government.

The countless ways unqualified people are rummaging around our data and identities, constantly talking about how much efficiency they’re bringing and fraud they’re busting when really all they are doing is lining their own pockets with our money.

It’s all intentional, of course. They want people confused and scared and paralyzed.

I know that and you know that and most everyone who shares a common sense of reality knows these things to be true.

I’ve read the same thing a thousand times (and I believe it, to be clear): Pick a couple of things that you can really lean into and fight. Work on building community. Look for ways to help the most vulnerable and uplift mutual aid. Think local.

TL;DR: You can’t do everything, so focus on where you have to most expertise and where you can be the most effective.

For the most part, I’ve had success finding where I have a chance at making a real difference. I am connected in my community. I’ve been advocating for my trans son for the better part of a decade and have some good experience there.

Easy peasy, right?

Kind of. Sort of. Well, …

Lately, I've been feeling like I’m burning the candle at both ends. Or, more accurately, like I’ve torched both ends. But that’s what you do when everything feels urgent.

I need to constantly remind myself that it’s OK to pause. It’s OK to rest. It’s OK to say you need to take a day or two or three or … to take care of yourself.

And it’s OK if what restores you isn’t always a breathing exercise or a meditation or exercise. It’s OK if sometimes what feels best is allowing yourself to nap whenever you want throughout a day and watch ridiculous TV and add an extra scoop of ice cream to your bowl.

Because that’s what will bring you back to the fight.